I was going to write about how I'm a bad mom for not getting nearly as many pictures as I did last year on the first day of school, buuuuuuuut then I was like, why? I was there. I packed her lunch, packed her backpack, made her a special first day of school breakfast (nutella and sliced strawberries sandwiched between protein waffles), and walked her to the door. I took a few phone pics, and a few big camera pics but we were rushing and I didn't spend as much time as I did last year.
For a second, I felt guilty. Mainly because I was planning to blog about getting pictures on the first day of school, but also because I was seeing all these kids on Facebook with their chalkboard placards with all the info about what they want to be when they grow up, the date, their grade, and I barely managed to snap a few pics and get my kid to school on time (full disclosure, we were late to school probably 75% of last year, not late enough to be marked tardy but running to the door late). I felt guilty because even though I love my kid so so so ridiculously much, I was relieved that school was starting and I could work uninterrupted. Elated that we were getting back to a routine. Super flippin' stoked that I get some time to myself.
We're not supposed to admit that. It's ok to admit we cried at drop off, but it's not ok to admit we can't help to be a little thrilled at having some time back to ourselves. Like we don't deserve it? Um, yeah, no. I deserve my time. It keeps me from going bonkers. For about 2 weeks this summer I was super into the thought of homeschooling, and then I realized I wasn't getting any work done and was feeling scattered and also like a bad mom because we weren't DOING ALL THE THINGS but also feeling like we were always busy and I just started counting the days for school to start.
That doesn't make me a bad mom.
It doesn't make you a bad mom either, if you're happy to have your kids back to school. It doesn't make you a bad mom to cry at drop off, or to run to the classroom door every morning, or to forget to send back the Wednesday folder, or forget to put a note in your kid's lunchbox. Taking the time to realize you need time to yourself makes you a good mom. So don't feel guilty about it. <3